Importance of Knowing Each Other Well

Whether it is in a work or social setting, we form relationships.  Typically, we associate with individuals based upon a "common bond" that is shared mutually.  Despite that common bond, we will experience and encounter differences that may result in minor or even severe conflict.

Having had the good fortune and blessing of being with the same employer for close to 30 years, I have had the opportunity of meeting and working with many lawyers.  In those cases that I have had to deliver a message they did not want to hear or own up to a mistake impacting one of their clients, I was always felt more at ease if (i) I had actually met them face-to-face (ii) assisted them in the past or (iii) established a working relationship with them.

I recall an instance a few years back when I sent an e-mail to 4 firm partners asking them who should be in charge of a client.  My only goal was to update our records.  Little did I know that I had unwittingly set off a firestorm as all 4 partners began debating over this.   Of the 4 partners, I only knew one -- that should have stopped me in my tracks.  A senior partner who I have known for many years, and not one of the 4, called to advise me of this swirl.  Before I could say anything, his words were "I know you and know what you were trying to do".  He gave me some advice as to my next steps to calm everyone down.  I can think back to hearing similar words from other partners in the firm when I had inadvertently created a problem or made a mistake.  That long-term relationship and familiarity enabled the lawyers to be more forgiving in their response.

My key point here is that for individuals to work together successfully and work through conflicts that arise, it so much easier if you know each other and well.  This is not to say that conflicts resolution will be easy -- it never is.  It is so much easier if the conflicted parties know each other well, are invested in each other, and have a comfort level with each other to facilitate resolution.  This familiarity is the basis of trust.

In this high tech world of texting, cell phones, and social networks, I believe it will be more difficult to attain this comfort level.  Plus, we face the added challenge of having our text misconstrued by the reader who will not have the benefit of our facial expressions and hearing our voice inflections.