Triangles - Part 3 (how to avoid)

It is easy to become part of a triangle -- far too easy. 

Not being a trained psychologist, I can only rely upon actual experience and basic introductory studies on the topic.  Plus, I can draw upon the many mistakes I have made in this realm. 

Quite specifically, Patrick Lencioni's work entitled "Five Dysfunctions of Team" provides some insight on the general concept of triangles though not dedicated to the topic exclusively.  For more information on this work, click here.

A few people I have known over the years have tactfully and gracefully avoided the triangle trap.  I have observed how they will do any or all of the following:

1.  neither agree nor disagree with Person A's comments about Person B

2.  ask Person A if they had talked directly to Person B about this

     a.  if not, suggest that Person A talk to Person B immediately and report back that have done so

     b.  if so, inquire as to how it went and if any further follow-up or intervention is needed

3.  If the matter between Persons A and B is personal, not job-related, state that to Person A while:

     a.  stressing the importance of respecting each other despite the disagreement(s)

     b.  ensuring that the lines of communication remain open

     c.  reiterate that the work environment and job performance must not be impacted adversely by this personal issue

     d.  remind Person A that work conflict and disagreement are inevitable.  It is how they get addressed will determine that relationship's health and that of the team/organization.

The key is not to be pulled in unwittingly.  Yet, it is important for Person C to understand, particulary those in leadership positions, when intervention is necessary for the greater good.  Finally for today do not allow Person A to share what Person B may have said about you.  This will only serve to get you upset, emotionally involved, and voila, into triangle feet first. 

Tomorrow -- how to get out of the triangle once you have been pulled in or entered unwittingly.